Is there a rock bottom?
Monday, August 17, 2009
Wow! What a week! Just when I think the worst is over...I'm proved wrong! At this point I wonder if a "rock bottom" exists. I am mentally exhausted and have been on the computer since 9AM trying desperately to escape this hole that won't seem to end. I'm now going on 14 hours of computer time and that is dedicated only to my kids and my Non-Profit I'm trying desperately to get off the ground.
In the midst of the never ending battle for my kiddos, I find out they are being moved down south! WHAT? Stopping me in my tracks having to refocus my attention on probate court custody battles. The battle with whom? My sister!
These court battles that have been going on for 3 1/2 years now preclude me from picking up the pieces because they litterly take my day and night, preparing my own defense because I can't afford another $6000 to retain a private attorney. Let's face it...court appointed attorneys for the family court system are merely paper pushers who provide no real legal counsel let alone good advice. So my life is filled with days and long nights at the law library preparing my own defense. Fighting for my babies, this I can handle. It's a war I will fight to the death if need be and for which I will never surrender. However, in the midst of this...I think I deserve an honory law degree!
The other chaotic absurdities in my life which I attract with no honey, trust me! A sudden blip on my credit report for $23,000...PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK! Now being billed at a monthly rate of $500.00 per month, per child is racking up at a rate I cannot possibly catch up with. Surely the next bill I receive will probably be every other fee they stick me with in regards to this INVOLUNTARY child custody proceeding! Its clear that the driving force for Sacramento County seems to be money. However, this dual billing of parents for child support (also referred to as "double dipping") is yet another means for funding their inadequate, unaccountable, and corrupt policies.
Self-pity...a horrible trait that I normally don't have; but hey, what is normal in my life over the past 3 yrs? My daughter says it's for a greater purpose...and that's what keeps me going. My kids, and the faith in my strength and determination that I will make it through because there is no other choice! "Defeat your enemies with success!" (unknown).
"Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action." ~Disraeli
In the midst of the never ending battle for my kiddos, I find out they are being moved down south! WHAT? Stopping me in my tracks having to refocus my attention on probate court custody battles. The battle with whom? My sister!
These court battles that have been going on for 3 1/2 years now preclude me from picking up the pieces because they litterly take my day and night, preparing my own defense because I can't afford another $6000 to retain a private attorney. Let's face it...court appointed attorneys for the family court system are merely paper pushers who provide no real legal counsel let alone good advice. So my life is filled with days and long nights at the law library preparing my own defense. Fighting for my babies, this I can handle. It's a war I will fight to the death if need be and for which I will never surrender. However, in the midst of this...I think I deserve an honory law degree!
The other chaotic absurdities in my life which I attract with no honey, trust me! A sudden blip on my credit report for $23,000...PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK! Now being billed at a monthly rate of $500.00 per month, per child is racking up at a rate I cannot possibly catch up with. Surely the next bill I receive will probably be every other fee they stick me with in regards to this INVOLUNTARY child custody proceeding! Its clear that the driving force for Sacramento County seems to be money. However, this dual billing of parents for child support (also referred to as "double dipping") is yet another means for funding their inadequate, unaccountable, and corrupt policies.
Self-pity...a horrible trait that I normally don't have; but hey, what is normal in my life over the past 3 yrs? My daughter says it's for a greater purpose...and that's what keeps me going. My kids, and the faith in my strength and determination that I will make it through because there is no other choice! "Defeat your enemies with success!" (unknown).
"Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action." ~Disraeli
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