TEAR's for Family Continuity

My name is Heather, 29 yr.old mother of 4 (ages 12, 10, 3, 1) - I live in Citrus Heights and have resided in Sacramento county for almost 9 yrs. Please note that I have no prior history with CPS, and before this occured, my parenting abilities have never been questioned. I have a lot to say, but the following info below is the core.

A 2 1/2yr. battle w/ CPS (Dept. of Health & Human Services - Sacramento County) that seems to have no end in sight. January 4, 2006 my children were removed and placed in protective custody. Their allegations were substance abuse and domestic violence. 8 pm-a knock at my door, a social worker and 2 officers   coming to take my children. WHY? No investigation was done! I remained calm for my kids, they didn't need to see the breakdown I was having internally. I told them not to worry, I would fix tomorrow morning. I meant it! I had every reason to believe I could clear it up. I was already in a outpatient treatment facility (Bi-Valley Medical Clinic - BVMC). In fact, BVMC had pertinent information that could clear it up immediately. I was drug tested on a random basis, I received weekly counseling w/ a MFT, I participated in a perinatal group program once a week, and was evaluated and treated by the psychologist for anxiety spectrum disorder. BVMC had a lot of info that could specifically address the concerns CPS had. Specifically the history of random drug screening I submitted to. However, CPS refused to accept valuable information from BVMC. Actually, they were unwilling to communicate with BVMC at any time. I was shuffled in and out of family court blindly, w/o direction or understanding of anything that was occuring. For fear that I would lose my children permanently, I tried to do whatever it was that CPS was requesting. So, w/o any proof of their allegations, I was ordered into substance abuse treatment. Keep in mind I was still in treatment at BVMC, still participating in all the services I described above. According to CPS, BVMC is not a substance abuse program, they ONLY provide medication maintence. Not acceptable to CPS. But heres the thing; BVMC and CPS/DHHS actually have a MOU, "creating a working relationship" among the two parties. In fact, protocol was established outlining any CPS issues related to BVMC patients. 9 months after my kids were taken, my husband and I had another baby. I was pregnant before my kids were removed. I knew they could not taken my son "Just because" my other kids were taken. Neither me, or my son tested positive for illegal drugs. However, I was on methadone maintence during my pregnancy. Well, they took my son too! Severe neglect ONLY pertaining to methadone. This issue, also addressed in the MOU mentioned above. I'd like to say, that my children are my world. My husband and I have been married for 13 yrs, he is the father of all of my children. I have never been arrested, in trouble for drugs, I worked for the state of CA and left that job to be at home with my kids. I was my daughters' Girl Scout leader, I did the reading program at their school as well. My ultimate goal was to home school them. They were my life, and my life has been torn apart. In 2002 I became dependent on vicodin as a result of surgery. In 2004 I found out I was pregnant. I wanted off the vicodin NOW, but I needed help. W/ my husbands support, we spoke w/ the doctor to discuss the options. He made it very clear that abruptly stopping was dangerous and would risk miscarriage or premature delivery. He advised to continue taking the vicodin and he'd look into area programs. He referred me to BVMC because they have a pregnancy program. I didn't want to get on methadone, but there was no other safe option. I enrolled and was educated on methadone. It was very safe to take while pregnant and supress withdrawl which is dangerous for the baby. In addition, I could breastfeed while on methadone w/o it passing to the baby through breastmilk. I was advised that the baby may have withdrawl at birth, and the severity of the withdrawl, if any, was not influenced by the dose the mother is taking. I am actually a perfect example of that. I delivered my daughter at 120 mgs. and she was healthy and had no withdrawl. When I delivered my son, I was taking 80 mgs, and he did have withdrawl.

Bottom line, CPS will not return my children to my care because I would not participate in a program. In addition, my son was taken specifically because of the methadone  Its very clear to me, that CPS will do whatever it takes to prove them right. There is no factual basis to anything they report. There is no due process, no rationale.

I could go on and on. This has taken control over my life since the day they were taken. I missed 2 1/2 yrs with my kids that I'll never get back. My oldest daughters transformation from girl to teen, when she needs me the most. My newborn son, and all of his firsts I missed. Holidays when I was not allowed to visit with my children. The worst part is the trauma my kids have had to endure. Life for my family will never be the same, never. I will never forget the fear, the terror in my daughters eyes when we opened the door that night.

I'm not sure if you can help or point me in the right direction. My goal is to make this public, to expose the damage that has been done by an organization meant to protect children. An organization that has destroyed my children!